Finally got to talk to her

So yesterday finally was the day, she came online and got to talk to me. Before this, she contacted me and told me that she got really sick and that went to the doctor and got pronosticated with some foul condition. Some infection with her ovaries that might send her to become steril. This sounds extremely scary. So far I have been thinking a lot on our relationship that I tend to forget that she is not right. She get sick way too much. I think that something is fundamentally wrong with her since she gets a lot of migranes, stomacaches etc.So now she will go to the doctor and start getting some analisys going. After that she will know if she had any chances. I wish I couldbe right there with her at the moment. The only thing I could do for her is sending her some money for the gyno and medicines.We talk about everything I have been feeling about her and how serious I was about our relationship so the higher I got, the harder I fell.One of the things I wanted was to engage with her as soon as I went to the US, and that I almost told her that but she told me that shewanted to be something more than an email or phonecall. Which is the reason why I wanted to see her when she got to the US.However going on with the chat it was a bit shocking but I have to suggest her to pull out before is too late. I think that what  she is doingoutstanding. But sometimes I get the feeling she is on a suicide mission. She got a lot of expectations on her school but at the samet timeI just dont think she is aware of what she is giving up in the process. Health is one of the things most of us take for granted however  most people think that health is a matter of a flu when u are sick and then you get well. However there are many damages that are permanent and thats what really gets to me. I dont think the risk she is putting her body into.I hope she gets well, I really need her to be well. I feel so responsible for her, even if she is not with me, is because of me and I think thatthis issues shold have been dealt by me if she was till with me.  So far I think I want to talk to her and really have that conversation I have been thinking for the longest time. Then I will try to get to see her, which is only 1 week away and I really don’t think I will but I also think is necessary. I don’t know what will the future depart us. But I really hope things settle in.

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