So I am not sure if I mentioned but I was in the dark yesterday. I came back from work and I found my room with no power at all. I was so beat up that I didn’t care and went straight to take a nap. Some how in my dying conscious I hope that when I woke up I will have the electricity back.I woke up around 9.30pm to find out in the pitch black with no electricity at all, I decided that I couldn’t hop online. So I decided to go back to the office and get some internet time at my office. I enjoyed being there, with the lights of the city to my view, and nobody in the whole huge area that is the office space.After a while of downloading podcast and just getting ready to have full battery juice on my PDA and Blackberry, I finally came back to my place to discover a lighten up block except for my street. I spend the rest of the night being on my blackberry for the web surfing and listening to podcasts that I download on my PDA.In the end I enjoy a sexy talk with one of my buddies from yahoo that actually make my night a bit more fun. I finally fell asleep to wake up the next day and find out that the electricity was still off.It wasn’t until tonight at 9pm that I got back from my lug meeting at LinuxCabal that I got into a finally, bright street and buildings. So now I am here but again feel pretty tired and feel like going to bed early tonight too.
Her last email was about 2.5 weeks, 16 days or 386 hours after the last time I knew from her. With a lot of pain I have been waiting for better days where I will see her constantly. But for now only the trace of her past conversations, blog entries, messages, emails, pictures and video. Is true, I have gotten caught up with something that is just not happening and doing this won’t help me ago. Slowly however I have started to get used to her absence. I am still worry for her death silent, but somehow I think that whatever is going to happen it will happen.So right now we had a blackout at my place and I had to walk back to the office to be able to stay online. I have been watching some youtube. I watched some old videos like NAS – Casino like video, Street Dreams. I watch it because yesterday night I spend the night watching some movies and the last one was the original Casino, this was the cause of my late arrival to work.One of the things that get’s me more about my situation with my gf is the sudden announcement this week that I WON’T be going to LA after all. This sucks since well, it just killed the chances of getting to go and see her. Although at the same time I will be mad tripping because she hasn’t even told me where she lives at. If by this time I was in LA, I will be so desperately to take the first plane to where she is at.I really hope things change quick, this Monday is memorial day and I hope she has time to email me. There is no guarantees since probably the library will be closed too. This means that no matter what she wont be able to get online, the other choice was waiting till the month is over so she can at least get a cellphone of her own and send me the text.So exciting week, weekend coming up, I am not feeling on doing anything, I will keep be doing my Linux studying and BASH programming as well as other projects. I guess I need to start coding something fast instead of being blogging :)Oh well, let see how things go, so far, I am chillin right now listening some RnB and hope tonight would be a productive night. Although is 11:45 pm so far and I guess the power is back at my building. I will go back, take a shower and watch some TV, at least I got a couple of podcast on my N770.
Body feels heavy, breath more spaced, my mind swirl in different directions a chest pain becomes slow and discrete yet cold chills feels through my body. The thoughts of something I love so much might be in trouble, or the realization that I am loosing it right in that moment. The desperation that I feel drops my energy to the top with the desire of do a sudden reaction to finally realize there is nothing much I can do.I implode and the adrenaline turns back against me attacking like a sudden depression and sadness. The way I think that something is gone to never come back again. Slowly my senses come back and my so called logic put me back at easy. With thoughts of promises of not freak out and to remain patience, this is a whole torture that has been repeating itself on my life for the past weeks.What am I supposed to do when I can’t do anything to stop it, yet it keeps coming back to me.Recently I read her blog, with warm and so deep and personal thoughts, I see myself reflected on her confessions from almost 2 years ago. I read with tenderness and remember meÃ‚Â how deep she thinks of me. How can I go back to those days with so much emotions that goes deep and is hard to deny her. I am not saying that she has change, but certainly the situation has turn out to be more difficult to remember us these feelings used to have on us and between us.What happened when I still feel the same yet the environment change so much that turn from a dying light to a pitch black. What are the chances of finding that light back again. I feel like walking blind in this cave trying to find her. I know I will find her and then everything will be ok but I just wonder how long will it take.Yes I trust her, I want to trust her, but at the same time, I don’t trust on things remaining the same, we all change, she is changing right now. I wonder if I will recognize her when I see her again. So far I haven’t give her any reason to doubt me, but I know that is just simply not enough.There is no communication, there is no pictures, voice mails, emails, sms messages, hugs, kisses or sweat and saliva between us anymore. I am in the depth of obscurity, I keep on walking and keep on waiting, but the waves of desperation are hitting harder and they are becoming common. Will I shield within myself and just numb out the feeling?Is it me being insecure or just weak. I am mentally exhausted sometimes, I need to get my mind off it but I can’t still validate it as something better. I am still questioning myself how long should I wait before I act while at the same time wonder what can I do anyway. Never ever have I felt that far away from her, I am starving for her. Maybe I am just exaggerating, this desperation will disappear after a few seconds from listening to her.I still look at her ring on my pinky finger, hoping that she is ok, hoping that she still feels like on her abandoned blog. I will give anything to see this blog narrating what she is going through right now. I will give everything to just be in front of her and love her.
I don’t usually blog about work related stuff but I think for this particular issue it do deserve a blog. One of the things that I have been cringing at work is this application called OPAS. OPAS stands for Obsolete Painful Anal Solution, and is a business application to create support tickets. We mainly use this to get helps from other groups on potential changes on the servers, network, or just a support ticket.The application on itself is design as you will fill out a form, the application has a desktop version which only works on Windows and a Web front end with heavy AJAX stuff. The application in itself is not that bad, except for the convoluted amount of information and the fact that it doesn’t run on browsers like Opera. But is the process which is actually even more painful. I have problems with something called lead time which is time you need to allocate to make a change, this policy has hit me several times invalidating my tickets.This tickets means that I have to manage many tickets and constantly have them canceled and create new ones with stupid modifications to the form. The problem is that once the ticket is not approved sometimes it doesn’t get canceled. What I mean is that you can’t apply the modification specifically to the form you have to create a NEW one and this starts becoming a pain when there is no tools on how to create this forms.For that reason I think the application is Obsolete since it can’t work on all the browsers, it should have an alternative regular form to it. It is definetly a Pain since there you need to have the tickets pushed forward, Anal because I can’t modify the forms and instead I have to create a pristine one. And a Solution that is most of the time notÃ‚Â one.Sometimes I just want to get the work done but this is the cause of all my disgrace since I am not able to do anything because of OPAS.
So today I actually got into OLPC site once again, it all started when I was bored and download the FOSDEM video about the OLPC. One graph on the presentation of the video woke up my curiosity. It was a map of the earth with each country having different colors, like a rating for each country.
I wanted to download the presentation but failed, so my second choice was going to the website. However I found something better, a wiki of the OLPC project.
So decided to find what this colors actually meant, I start doing some searches for keywords related to ratings which gave me no result. The next step is to search for the country, I did a search for mexico and that gave me a whole profile page and it indeed had the grading.
Now that I saw that I look for the link where you can link up to the grading scale. In this case mexico was a red and there was other colors. The grades were the following:
With the Green it means they will inmediately adopt Linux, in this countries there were already some interesting countries with not so lagging technical knowledge and with a great pump of technology.Some other countries that were close to the challenge actually declined adopting linux such as Romania. Mexico, had an interesting stage, it was a ‘Red’ country which means that they might adopt it once is already working. Interesting question is what will this make to the country waiting a few years. If they adopt it, there is also the challenge from the same government and just administration within the education. The education ministry has had bad ventures within education and technology, it will be a shame projects such as OLPC get dirty under the bureacratic and corrupted government that can turn a good idea into uselessness. Recently I read a post about a wikipedia scandal where government officials were deleting and modifiying posts of some of the government projects such as the same Enciclomedia which is an Encarta hooked into more interacting blackboards. Unfortunately there had been many issues on that way. k OLPC
So I recently upgrade my blog to WordPress 2.2, which was recently announced at the WordPress original website. The upgrade process was simple however I had some order issues. It was considerebly faster from the last time however the workflow that I do to upgrade is still not perfect.FirstÃ‚Â rememberÃ‚Â thatÃ‚Â IÃ‚Â haveÃ‚Â SSHÃ‚Â setupÃ‚Â andÃ‚Â IÃ‚Â don’tÃ‚Â haveÃ‚Â anÃ‚Â FTPÃ‚Â server.Ã‚Â AtÃ‚Â leastÃ‚Â notÃ‚Â oneÃ‚Â thatÃ‚Â isÃ‚Â configuredÃ‚Â andÃ‚Â currentlyÃ‚Â running.Ã‚Â One example was the use of of having a directory outside of the root of wordpress this gave me a lot of hassles when using the command line.TheÃ‚Â orderÃ‚Â IÃ‚Â hadÃ‚Â wasÃ‚Â creatingÃ‚Â aÃ‚Â folderÃ‚Â nextÃ‚Â toÃ‚Â theÃ‚Â wordpressÃ‚Â folder.Ã‚Â TheÃ‚Â samplesÃ‚Â usedÃ‚Â aÃ‚Â folderÃ‚Â withinÃ‚Â theÃ‚Â wordpressÃ‚Â folder.Ã‚Â This made the process go slower since I now hoad to play with the paths when moving theÃ‚Â configuration files back to the new version folder.IÃ‚Â thinkÃ‚Â thatÃ‚Â creatingÃ‚Â aÃ‚Â personalÃ‚Â scriptÃ‚Â thatÃ‚Â willÃ‚Â doÃ‚Â theÃ‚Â backupÃ‚Â asÃ‚Â wellÃ‚Â asÃ‚Â otherÃ‚Â thingsÃ‚Â likeÃ‚Â extactingÃ‚Â theÃ‚Â filesÃ‚Â neededÃ‚Â afterÃ‚Â theÃ‚Â backupÃ‚Â isÃ‚Â doneÃ‚Â withoutÃ‚Â havingÃ‚Â toÃ‚Â backupÃ‚Â allÃ‚Â theÃ‚Â files.MaybeÃ‚Â isÃ‚Â aÃ‚Â chanceÃ‚Â toÃ‚Â proveÃ‚Â myÃ‚Â BashÃ‚Â skillsÃ‚Â orÃ‚Â evenÃ‚Â betterÃ‚Â aÃ‚Â goodÃ‚Â PythonÃ‚Â project.
It’s been a while since I last wrote about the OpenOffice.org Conference to be done in Barcelona. At the moment we have some changes and announcements performing and also a new logo.So in a nutshell there has been announced a Call for papers and the small script that takes in the petitions was recently discussed about how to notify the people in the conference. It seems everything is going smoothly so far although the process is not completely automated.There still need to be discussed the current official position about getting the government funds from the Spanish government previously discussed on the IRC meeting.There still need to talk more about the current speakers that will presenting as well as how many people have already sign in.I think is important to have an update meeting on the following topics:
- Current funds for the conference
- Status of the Call for paper
- Marketing kit including videos and more participation on banners (now that we have a logo)
- Immigration and miscellaneous resources.